Online Dating

If you do not currently have time to go out and socialize well you do not have to anymore. There are great sites that help you find a date. You browse the profiles on the site and find someone that interest you and strike up a conversation. On some of the sites you have to pay a fee, and some are free. Paid sites are more private about the information you can see. The most access goes to those who pay the most money obviously. Social networking sites such as dailybooth, myspace, gaybook, facebook etc. have also been used as ways to find a date. 

When starting on a dating site first make sure to choose a good picture of yourself. One that represents you. A profile with a picture gets more response. You should not post personal information like your full name, address, phone number, or social security number. Do not dread the about me section on a dating site. A couple of things to do is use words you think describe yourself that are your best qualities such as friendly, energetic, adventurous, intelligent, fun, caring, romantic etc. Believe me when I say using good grammar is important. Writing about your goals or where you believe your headed in life or telling stories that show the adjectives I mentioned earlier.

When you do begin talking to someone that you like, start off with talking through the site or by email or skype which is a great site for this. Meeting someone in person can be scary so be safe on that first date. Meet somewhere public and make sure your friends or family know where you are. One friend met her current boyfriend online but was nervous and a little scared about meeting him in person. They met at a mall a very public area and made sure her friends knew where she was supposed to be.

Do not focus on what could go wrong. Like meeting the person and finding out they are someone completely different from the person you’ve been talking to. This happens sometimes but is happening less. It happened to one guy I’ve met but he did not stop using online dating sites. Even after three failed online relationships. He said that the relationships were fun while they lasted and it’s a convenient way for him to meet guys since there aren’t many gay guys in his town.
There are many Success stories which the dating sites love to tell you about .here are some that i know. My friends Marlene and Mantas met on a social networking site that also focuses on matchmaking. They talked online and through text for one month before meeting.  They’ve been together for nine months with no sign of that changing anytime soon. My friend Jessica recently married her long time girlfriend that she met online through a dating site. You just have to be open minded about trying a dating site if you think they could possibly help you find someone.

Seriously just dont

Never thought I would have to write something like this because it should be known by all. Do not talk about an ex on your first date with a new person or grill your date about their past on the first date EVER!!!! I understand wanting to know things if your looking for a serious relationship but it's better to not do this on a first date. You will SCARE your date away. You need to be open minded on a first date otherwise it really won't go anywhere. Its best to learn about their past relationships later. Plus don't be too stuck on their past people change but still be cautious. Sometimes people don't learn to  change their ways.

-ChrisVigilante

Last name

My friend has gotten into an argument with both her boyfriend and her brother. What about? The fact that she refuses to change her last name when she gets married.

My opinion on this issue is that times have changed some people may expect a woman to change their last name to their husbands but less woman are doing it every year.Her brother says your just supposed to because everyone does. Not true. This reminds me of when people believed that a wife was the property of the husband. At least with the reasoning that some people have given me.

It really is a custom that is for many people blindly followed. However the name change can be a sign of union between the two people getting married. If this is your reason for the name change or another logical reason then this is good. You shouldn't have to do anything because everyone one else has been doing things that way for years. Times changes and luckily we have changed overtime. So for my friend and everyone else you dont have to change your last name think about if you want to or not.

I am falling for my best friend

I have fallen for my best friend

Girl or guy first thing is to think if you go for this can your risk loosing the friendship. Even if you just want to see if your friend feels the same way your risking it being very awkward between you if they say no. Once you’ve decided if its worth it or not. Or if you decide that If you don’t you’ll always think what if I had said something and they did feel the same way. Then you can either tell them or try to see if they like you in a clever way. You can leave subtle hints even if its just looking at them in a different way or complimenting them more than you usually do for appearance or personality. This will hopefully get their attention.

I’ve seen another option work even though it did not for me. Physical contact increase. This is when you try to allow for more contact between the two of you to see how they react. A hand on the shoulder. A hug, legs or arms rubbing up against each other etc. You can see if they react by letting you continue or by increasing their physical contact with you or if they look at you like your crazy. Advance or not to advance.

Or again there is that way that might work and then again might not. Just tell them and see what happens from there. Tell them that things wont change between you if they don’t return the feelings . Tell them that its just best for me to know now then to keep wondering . Its really hard to do sometimes believe me. It sucks if they don’t too but I think its better to know.

For Him/For Her

Its how many days away!

This is what my friend said when she realized Christmas was approaching quickly and she still had not gotten a Christmas Present for her boyfriend. So I decided Id help her out by giving my list of best and worst gifts for your boyfriend/girlfriend. I asked some friends what they are giving their significant other.

The best thing is something that everyone else might not get but you both will. Something that shows that you know that person. An example is my friend Beth who is giving her boyfriend a pair of Yu-Gi-Oh tins for Christmas. I think that’s great. It may seem like a weird gift but she knows him. Another person said they’re gift that is weird but cute because that explained his relationship. I love the idea behind that.

Clothing is a great option. If you know how to pick out clothes your boyfriend/girlfriend. If not and you want to buy clothes for them ask a friend for help. Maybe one of their friends. As for good choices on clothes. Here are some ideas for clothing based off of different people’s answers.

Guys Answers : Juicy couture bag. An outfit, shoes ( usually good for girls, if you pick a pair they would like).
Girl’s answers: Shoes- Jordan’s, Cabana Jones , his favorite Basketball player’s Jersey.

Lingerie was also a popular answer: I already told one friend that I think it’s a bad idea. Unless you already have a very sexual relationship with that person. Because your saying HAVE SEX WITH ME! Good or Bad depending on the type of person your with and the way that your relationship is structured. I don’t want to think about this one anymore.

As my sister said gifts are easy, girls want Jewelry. Jewelry is also good. Bracelets, necklace, earrings or a ring. Just don’t be too cheap please. There’s nothing worst than really cheap jewelry. Girls can get a nice watch or chain for their guys. My friend Cassie is getting an expensive watch for her boyfriend.

The best idea I heard was from my friend Maggie who is taking her boyfriend to the Mall to pick out his own present. Sure it takes away the surprise but it works since they have not been dating for very long. I also like it because it takes the stress out of gift giving. Don’t be like my friend Chris who still has not thought about the gift he’s giving his girlfriend. He thanked me for reminding him. It can be difficult to choose one even with these helpful tips. So start thinking about it early.





Any questions?, Other things you want me to mention about gift giving?, Topic for future blogs Etc. Then comment below.

Relationships going from High School to University

I don’t think you should become too attached to a person in High School. Sure some high school relationships do last as many people keep telling me. I just don’t think it is very likely. I knew going into high school. I was planning on going to college. I am seeing people whose college decision is being influenced by who they are dating. I knew I did not want that problem my sophomore year. “ I want to be close to my girlfriend” or “ I don’t want to leave him behind”. These are both things I have heard friends say. Your future should only be effected if you truly believe you want to be with this person forever, that you will marry them. This is possible. I have two friends that are planning to get married after high school.

I hate to be a downer but I even think that one of my friends is going to end up leaving her boyfriend behind for her career. I have told him that I think that will happen. He’s completely in love with her. I believe she is too but like me she is a career/ goal oriented person. She wont go to a school just to be close to him. She will go to one that’s best for her future career goal even if its on the other side of the country from him. Knowing my friend he would be crushed by it. Don’t put yourself through it unless its worth being with that person for a limited amount of time.

Still I think it can be sometimes worth it. I know three young couples who are getting married right out of high school. Two very soon. I cant wait for the wedding. Here’s a fact I will state . The two that are getting married soon aren’t going to college. They started working right away. The other two that are planning to be married are going to the same college. So I think relationships work best in these situations. If not don’t go to schools too far apart. Two hours apart seems to be a good distance for my friend Anna and her boyfriend. Just be cautious with how deep you fall for someone unless you know where its going.

Pull the band-aid for their sake

So you get the most heartfelt sweet and romantic letter possible from a guy. Or someone spills their heart out to you . Or a girl just tells you how she feels. “ I want to be with you”, “ I love you” etc. This is great except you don’t like/love them back. So you need to deal with this . Here is my guide.

First thing you have to tell them. Never try to avoid it. Or say I will just go out with them that was so sweet or I’m desperate (been there). It sucks for that person and sucks for you. Now how to tell them.

Best way is to “pull the band-aid” as I like to say . Go in and do it quickly especially if you really have a problem with it. Not saying to just say “I don’t like you bye“. You can let someone down easy but do it as soon as possible if you don’t you might not be able to do it. Another problem is that waiting can give people hope that you will say yes when you wont. Its better for the person for you to just tell them. I know I would like to know so I could try to move on. Knowing right away makes it easier.

Another problem is where to tell them which depends on your relationship with that person and the type of person you are. If you think there will be an awkward moment don’t tell them in private. Or if in private make it somewhere you can leave after telling them without problem. Telling them with people present is fine as long as no one can hear you. A letter is a good way If you don’t want to say it. A letter is easy to give them in public as well. Many people either won open it there or wont cry in public if it comes down to that.

Remember this is based on my personal experience on the subject matter been on both sides of it before. It isn’t my most objective decision this time.